The Child Delimma

Something that I have been struggling with since getting engaged is the age old question that most brides are faced with. Do you invite the kiddies or ask that they stay at home? Snicks and I decided right off the bat that we would not be inviting any children over the age of sixteen to our wedding (besides our Junior Bridesmaid who is seven). We don’t have any close nieces or nephews but a lot of our cousins have children. On my side, I’m pretty close with some of my cousins’s kids but Nick and I barely know the baby on his side BUT you can’t invite one without inviting them all so we quickly decided to ex nay the kids.

We had an issue during my uncle’s wedding a few years ago where my cousin was very upset that his child was not invited. My aunt and cousin were not attending the wedding until the very last minute when they decided to come. My cousin actually approached my uncle at his wedding and told him that my uncle owed him 500 dollars for needing to hire a babysitter. Now that my wedding is approaching, I have a feeling something like this might happen again.

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I’ve already heard a few comments about their children coming from both sides of our family. At Nick’s cousin’s baby shower, she held up a very adorable, pink dress and wondered out loud when the baby was going to wear it. Then a thought came to mind, “Oh this would be perfect for Snick’s and Amie’s wedding.” Cue the cringe. At my new baby cousin’s baptism, my newest Aunt came up to me with the bundle of joy and started dancing around. It was very sweet until she decided to tell the baby that she couldn’t wait to dance with him and Mine and Snick’s wedding. Now I’m going to have to let the poor kid down. Bummer.

My parents, Snicks and I have been discussing about what to do about this child-conundrum. I don’t want to start a family feud over children but the truth is, my venue is quite large and surrounded by ponds and other bodies of water. I don’t want to be responsible for anything that might happen. Also, inviting all of the children would give us 10-15 more mouths to feed. While children’s prices are cheaper, it’s still more money to add to our ever expanding budget.

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So I scoured the Weddingbee message boards to get some ideas on how to approach this. I did not want to put “Adults Only” on my wedding invite. My mother also hates the whole “___ number of seats have been reserved in your honor”. So that put the kibosh on that.  But after reading a few posts, I got the idea to add another insert into the invitation. Putting together a few examples I came up with this:

“Although we would love to celebrate with all of
our family and friends, it just isn’t possible due to
the nature of our venue. For this reason, we have
been limited to an adult only reception. Please feel
free to bring your little ones to the ceremony. We
thank you in advance for your understanding.”

The question is, do I put this in every invite or just the invitations of those you have children? I’m thinking to be safe, I might put it in a few family members who are close to the mothers and fathers as well. To make sure the rules are followed. I’m sure myself, my FMIL and my mother will be receiving phone calls complaining about the no child rule but I’m determined to stick to it. If anyone should disregard me wishes and bring their kids, I’m not going to let it ruin my wedding day.

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I had decided to include photos of me with really cute babies to prove to the world that I do love kids. Just not at my wedding.

Did you stick to the no child rule? Did it work? How did you let scheming parents know that their kids were a no go?

Music to my Ears

I highly recommend that when you do get engaged to sit down with your future wife or husband and to list the things that are most important to you. For Snicks and I, it was good food, lots of booze and good music. We strongly believe those three things are in the equation to give our family and friends a good time. When it came down to the music, we decided pretty early on that we wanted a band. We are big fans of live music and I’ve always believed that a good band just escalates the heart and atmosphere of an event. Our only issue was, Snicks and I have the most eclectic taste in music on the planet. We love country music but Snick’s favorite band is Blink 182. We wanted a good mix of today’s hits and wedding classics. It’s hard enough to find a band that will be able to play everything we want, it’s even harder to find a band that could do it well.

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The Benjamins

That’s where the Benjamin’s came in. After finding a few sub par bands that Snicks immediately crossed off the list, I left finding a band in his hands. Doing a quick Google search, we found their wedding website, listened to their music and let’s just say it was love at first sight (or should I say hear?). They really fit all of our needs but we couldn’t help but wonder if it was too good to be true. So we went to go see them one night and we absolutely loved them. The great thing about The Benjamins is that they come with a DJ. Which means, that even when they’re not playing, there is someone playing good music. The set never ends!

We signed a contract and sent in our deposit immediately. The last thing we wanted was to lose The Benjamins to another booking. Keep in mind, finding a good wedding band that does everything you want will come with a price. But music was in our top three and in our minds, was worth the added cost. A few months later, we found out that The Benjamins were playing in Hoboken and we decided this was the perfect time to bring some of our friends and bridal party to experience the magic. Snicks and I were a bit worried because what if they sucked but once again, The Benjamins delivered. Snicks went up to them between sets and introduced himself and he said they remembered us. In the next set, they pulled me and one of my bridesmaids up to dance on stage. Even after the show they came up to us and we got a few pictures. Not only are they extremely talented, they’re extremely nice as well and it makes me anxious for them to play at our wedding even more.

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Personal Photo
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Personal Photo

 

Are you having a band or a DJ at your wedding? What about just an Ipod? What are in your fiance’s top three?